A few days before Christmas, Glasgow radio disc jockey Allan “Dicky” Bird is stunned when Maddy, his kleptomaniac girlfriend of four years, suddenly announces that she is moving out. His doctor friend Colin tries to console him, but Bird is heartbroken.
One day, he goes for a drive to take his mind off his troubles. Noticing an attractive girl, Charlotte, in the back of a “Mr. Bunny” ice cream van, he follows it under a railway bridge on a whim and when the van stops, purchases an ice cream cone. To his amazement, three men drive up and proceed to smash up the van with baseball bats. The occupants retaliate with squirts of raspberry sauce. By sheer chance, Bird finds himself involved in a turf war between rival Italian ice cream vendors: the young interloper Trevor and the older, more established “Mr. McCool”.
As an admired local celebrity, Bird meets with McCool and his sons Bruno, Paolo, and Renato. He then goes back and forth between them and Trevor and Charlotte (later revealed to be McCool’s rebellious daughter), trying to negotiate a peaceful settlement. Various misadventures follow, with his red BMW 323i Baur convertible suffering more and more damage each time. Bird becomes obsessed with resolving the war.
To contact the combatants, he starts broadcasting coded messages on his early morning show, causing Hilary, his boss, to ask his secretary if Mr. Bird’s contract includes a “sanity clause”. Hilary then orders Bird to see a psychiatrist about the Mr. Bunny he keeps trying to reach.
In the end, Bird proposes that the rival entrepreneurs, who turn out to be uncle and nephew, join forces to market a new treat: ice cream fritters. Both sides are impressed by the product’s potential. It appeals both to Trevor’s fish and chips frying background as well as Mr. McCool’s ice cream expertise. Since Bird alone knows the secret ingredient of the ancient Chinese recipe, he cuts himself in for 30% of the gross as well as repairs to his abused car.
During the credits, he is heard trying to record a commercial for the new product: “Frosty Hots”.
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