Breaking Wind 2012 Full Movie fmovies

Breaking Wind: A Hilarious Adventure

One night, a young man named Ronald is attacked by an unseen assailant, and during the course of the attack he loses his shirt, then one of his teeth, and gains a tattoo. Finally, he’s bitten on his buttocks, which causes him to begin transforming into a vampire and incessantly break wind.

The Transformation Begins

A year later, Bella asks her boyfriend Edward Colon to transform her into a vampire, but he insists that he marry her first. Bella also has to deal with the affections of Jacob, a member of a pack of overweight, flatulent werewolves (who oddly never transforms). One night, Edward gets a vision of Ronald breaking into Bella’s room, and brings her to the Colon family home for help, but they are unsure of what to do.

The Battle Against the Noobs

Jacob then takes her to meet his grandfather, who recounts the time that he faced an ancient evil that manifested itself as “different characters all played the exact same way” (a stab at Johnny Depp and his performances as Jack Sparrow, Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka and The Mad Hatter), and believes that a similar incident is about to occur. With this information and a recent spate of people going missing, the Colons are able to deduce that a rogue vampire is creating an army of newborns (or “noobs”).

The army turns out to be under the control of Victoria, who tricks Ronald into believing Edward killed Gary Coleman and killing Bella will avenge him. The noobs get Bella’s scent from a pornographic magazine, and the Colons realize that they cannot protect her, especially because of Rosalie’s homicidal rages toward her and Carlisle’s inability to stop himself from drinking her blood.

The Final Showdown

That night, Edward meets with Bella and Jacob and the three spend the night in a tent, where Jacob has sex with Bella as an oblivious Edward talks about how he thinks he and Jacob could be friends if they put their differences aside. The following morning the noobs catch up with the trio, but the Colons and Jacob’s pack also arrive, and a fight ensues.

Bella distracts the noobs by eating a special cake given to her by Jacob, which causes her to experience severe flatulence and creates a smell bad enough to distract Victoria and the noobs long enough for the Colons to kill them all. Bella agrees to marry Edward, while Jacob accidentally ends up stabbing himself to death during a fight with a TMZ reporter.

A Surprising Turn of Events

A year later a pregnant Bella learns a dwarf-like copy of Edward (who had been hitting on her throughout the film, despite her obvious disgust) somehow fathered the child instead.

The movie then ends by parodying the trailer to Breaking Dawn – Part 1, followed by a segment ridiculing the reactions to said trailer (in the form of YouTube videos) by certain “Twi-Hard” fans of the series.

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